MenuThe plasticity of the brain has only recently come to light from the world of neuroscience. In 2007, Norman Doidge wrote the book “The Brain That Changes Itself”. In The Brain That Changes Itself, Doidge points to the brain’s real ability to alter its function in response to experience. This is why scientists refer to the brain as being “neuroplastic”. While before the brain was thought of as “hard wired”, or unchanging, we now know hat the brain is neuroplastic, or capable of changing and adapting.
The brain that changes itself means that if we are not happy with how we are, we have the ability to change it…..
Why does having a neuroplastic brain give me such hope in respect to minimizing the effects of separation on families and children and provide new possibilities for my family mediation Toronto service?
You see, our behaviour, emotions, sensations and perceptions are all controlled and shaped by our brain. How the brain works is that the brain creates brain patterns for all the events that we have experienced since childhood. When we have an experience, our brain recalls brain patterns that were created when we lived through similar events in the past. For example, if you grew up with a mother that was very critical of you and you find yourself being criticized by your spouse during an argument, it is possible that you will react negatively not only because your spouse has criticized you, but because you brain is remembering the feelings of being criticized by your mother. That’s how the brain works.
The brain that changes itself means that we have the potential to influence how we deal with the brain patterns that will be recalled by our brain from time to time. We can therefore gain control over our brain patterns. This neuroplastic ability of the brain allows us to learn to control our reactions rather than be controlled by them.
The company NEXT successfully uses the plasticity of the brain to train its clients to not only control their reactions, but more importantly to train their brains to create more desirable reactions. This is a giant WOW! Imagine what would happen if families and children did not have to experience the traditionally negative effects of separation?
How the brain works is that people who separate experience intense feelings associated with the current situation, but these feelings are amplified by feelings experienced during past events that are unconsciously recalled by their brains. For example, in a recent case of mine, the wife had suffered tremendous poverty as a child. It is no surprise that during the separation process, the biggest issue we had to deal with was her fear of not having enough money after separation. Her insecurity about losing her husband’s income was amplified by her brain recalling feelings of sheer insecurity created by the poverty of her childhood.
In a family setting, the plasticity of the brain means that people who are thinking of separating or those going through separation, can learn to control the brain patterns that will be recalled when they are confronted by very difficult circumstances.
If separating spouses developed an ability to control their reactions during the separation process, they may not feel so confronted, lost, hurt or angry. Their instructions to their lawyers could then come from a place of emotional awareness and control rather than a place of despair and short-sighted reactions. Research consistently shows that many of the negative effects of separation on children stem from the parents’ inability to work together before, during and after separation. People accessing new programs based on how the brain works as it is known today have a real chance to go through a separation without the usual negative effects of separation on families.
As a mediator, I have learned how to mediate with clients who are unknowingly affected by counterproductive brain patterns. Understanding the plasticity of the brain will help families who are wondering how to mediate more peacefully. People who take on changing their brain patterns increase their chances of knowing how to mediate from a place of understanding and strength rather than from a place of despair.
Families separating with services such as family mediation Toronto who also participate in The NEXT Program can powerfully be equipped with the ability to control the brain patterns that are typically at play and that tend to aggravate the situation. With the launch of this program and the willingness of families accessing the services of family mediation Toronto to take control of their emotions, there is a real chance that the typical negative effects of separation on families and children will be greatly diminished if not eliminated.
When looking for service providers under “Family mediation Toronto”, look for service providers that have an awareness of these issues. Using a neuroplastic approach to dealing with divorce and separation will make an extraordinary difference for you and your family.