Expand your perspective to resolve conflict

Conflicts arise when some of our values have been offended. We strongly feel the other person is wrong, and therefore it would be degrading, or against our principles, to agree with their proposals.

With this frame of mind, you will never resolve the conflict. The main reason being that the other person feels the exact same way. How can they agree with your suggestions and point of view, if it would mean admitting they are wrong, and you are right?

During a conflict, take the time to understand what has been triggered inside of yourself, and examine what values have been offended. Using the helpful resources around you, such as a personal development guide, therapist, friends or trusted family members, work on trying to heal your pain and regain your footing.

Also take the time to explore what values of the other person have been offended. Understanding what the other side is experiencing will not take anything away from you, nor will it make them right and you wrong; it only puts things into perspective and will help get to a resolution.

It’s not about being right. It’s about giving up being right. It’s difficult, if not impossible, to resolve a conflict when someone is in turmoil or when they don’t feel heard.

In my profession, I need to pay attention to these issues when I work with clients. To get them to where they want to be, we also need to find out and understand where the other person wants to be. This bridge usually leads to resolution, and I guide all my clients through this every step of the way.

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