There are many common misconceptions when it comes to the topic of divorce that families may not be aware of. Nathalie Boutet, Family Law Lawyer, Conflict Resolution Specialist and Accredited Mediator can speak to the following myths vs realities when it comes to divorce:
My spouse and I have been approaching our divorce in a very open, honest way. We are quite conciliatory and want this to be as peaceful as possible. Therefore our divorce will be simple: While it’s a nice thought to have in the beginning, a divorce is a complicated process where opposing rights and obligations often pit one spouse against the other. What appears to be a cooperative situation often turns adversarial unexpectedly.
My children will be fine because we will both be happier after the divorce; happy parents equal happy children. According to studies, children whose parents are divorced are more likely than children whose parents remain together to:
- suffer from depression, anxiety, and other emotional disorders;
- exhibit behavioural problems including hyperactivity, aggressiveness, fighting, and hostility;
- become young offenders;
- do less well in school and remain in school for a shorter period of time.
Hiring an aggressive lawyer will ensure I get a good deal. In many cases, if one person in the relationship takes an aggressive approach, the final solution may end up being unfair for both spouses, the legal fees may be unnecessarily high and there will likely be residual hostility.
I married the wrong person. Things will be different in my next marriage/relationship: The odds of a second marriage not working out are high, according to a study (divorce rates reported at a startling 40-50 percent). While it’s important to maintain a positive attitude when it comes to moving forward, you also need to reflect and learn from what didn’t work in your last relationship.